Matters of the Heart – Anger

February 16, 2010

Dear Dr. Sharon,
How can I not hold anger toward my “ex”. I feel that it is unattractive to my new relationship. My whole mood changes when I have to encounter her which is often because of teenage children. I also feel that I have not really closed the chapter of my last marriage in a good enough way to begin another and I don’t want to mess this one up. Can you help? Sam

Dear Sam,

My response is to choose love as your response to this situation. This may seem like a tall and perhaps inappropriate order. There are times when anger is the right initial response. Yet over time, anger and fear creates great stress on the heart while calm loving thoughts create heart resonance. Attempt to see the situation “through angel, God or “wise eyes”. See the challenges with your ex-wife as necessary for growth. Marvel at the new responses you were able to develop. As you increase your coping abilities, you sunk your roots more deeply into the soil of life and now you can send out even stronger limbs into the skies. When you burn with resentment or anger at her, its impossible to feel happy. When you incrementally move towards more loving wise responses, you feel better. That’s because you are in harmony with your true spiritual self which is all loving.

When I tune into your soul, I hear that you would not want to be without the valuable lesson you have learned. I also feel that out of your learning, you have drawn to you a great new relationship. She is a winner as are you. I hope you celebrate what you have created for yourself this Valentine’s Day.

A final quote:

“The mystery of life is that you can only truly know yourself through love of others, and you can only truly know others through love of self.. A good question to ask is What can I do for myself that will bring the greatest good to others? And What can I do for others that will bring the greatest good for myself?” (

Have a blessed Valentine’s Day.

Leave a Reply