It Takes What It Takes!

July 26, 2013


Have you ever noticed what it takes for you to FINALLY stop behaviors that were not in line with your highest good?

Some of those behaviors are even life threatening if carried on too long!

I know for myself, I did not face giving up smoking cigarettes, a habit I learned in the 60’s in college until I was ten  years into it. My “breaking-the-habit” point came when I felt it had taken over my life. Like regular clockwork, the cigarettes possessed my life every time the nicotine got low in my bloodstream. I would automatically crave another and have to light up or be very uncomfortable.  I was like a robot programmed by external/internal forces. Consistently, I  had the horrible thought: I know I have worked hard at forgiving other people’s behavior toward me. How will I ever be able to forgive myself for getting sick? for not stopping sooner rather than later? If I am “going to stop someday”, why not do it now before I have irreversible damage? The responsibility lay only with me. To this day, my best friends say “I can’t picture you ever smoking!” But I did! For ten years!

Just recently, I began to ask people what it took to stop a destructive behavior.

One friend recently stopped her nightly alcohol use of hard liquor. I knew that her mother, father and sister had been worried for years because she would slur her
words when she called them to talk at night. She didn’t however give it up for them. She, like all of us, had her own issues with family. She gave it up because a friend who she greatly admired began to withdraw from her. The alcohol use was a deal-breaker in their friendship. That was what jolted her into action.  Now all her talent, all her purpose for living is freed up.

Another lifelong friend found out he had cancer. He had unhappy in his job but was nearing retirement so was going to “stick it out”. He had developed a steady daily alcohol use. He was unhappy in his relationship and just felt life had no pleasure. He had what I call “a vibrational gap” which he was filling with the immediate high of alcohol.  He told me the cancer woke him up and helped him “get a life”. He began to admire his wife who steadfastly was there for him during his cancer treatments. He quit his unsatisfactory job and began working freelance. It was less money but he was happier. He said, “If I didn’t get cancer, I would have just continued along in a very drab unfulfilling life.  That’s what it took to stop clinging to a job for security at all costs. He said, “I sold my soul for security and it made me sick.”

Many people who stay in unsatisfactory relationships because it is “the right thing to do”.

A few years ago, I counseled a woman from a southern state who had breast cancer. She amazed me at her research and her use of every holistic intervention she could find: macrobiotic diets, juicing, EFT, hypnosis, etc.. She also had a “vibrational gap”.  Before the diagnosis, she told me that her whole chest area felt numb.  Long ago her marriage had stopped being a satisfactory relationship. He had an obsessive-compulsive disorder as well as passive aggressive tendencies. He was not willing to change. This lack of change made it a “deadly” dead-end.  She came to one of my retreats during the early stages of cancer. I remember my guides channeling to her in very firm tones about loving herself enough to take distance from her husband, even for a temporary respite, to claim a life for herself. Their tone was loving but oh so strong.  She was unwilling to do so. She was afraid for her security. Her good Catholic girl upbringing was a role she learned early.

Despite a valiant effort and consistent verbalization of her desire to live, she succumbed to her cancer within a year. After her passing, in a state of heartbreak myself, I asked my guides “Why? Didn’t she do everything she could? Didn’t she show she wanted so badly to stay alive for her two children?” The guides said yes, but it is important to understand that you cannot have it both ways. When she would go up to “slumberland” at night to be with her higher self, she saw that she was too afraid of leaving him.  She saw that she was never going to be happy. So she BRILLIANTLY called herself home to Spirit where she could be free to be happy. On the other side of the veil she had to forgive herself for her fear and not taking steps to secure a happy life for herself.

There is no judgment, ever. I learned the valuable lesson: When I coach someone, it doesn’t matter what someone says or appearances…it is what they do to live a fulfilling life.
We came to this earth to follow our dreams, our passions, what excites and inspires us. When we don’t do so, we often “fill the vibrational gap” with an unhealthy lifestyle, even if it is just to settle for less than what we desire.  The greatest health booster is to live in the zone of  your truth.

In a recently released book written by my husband, Steven Mundahl and myself (a contributing author), we discuss how taking charge of these sabotaging behaviors is necessary for becoming a leader of your own life. The book is called: The Alchemy of Authentic Leadership (available on Amazon).

So what does it take for you to release behaviors or lifestyles that are not in your highest good?

Will you need to get a DUI to stop drinking before you drive?
Will you need to become ill from an unhealthy lifestyle?
Will you have an affair and hurt others?

How will your own soul agree to “out you” if you are needing re-direction?

Why not give yourself a challenge this month and take charge of one negative behavior that you want to release? Give your Higher Self, your angels and your guides permission to intervene in any unhealthy choices. Ask them to help you lessen the addiction and give you hope and guidance. Take notes on the interventions you receive! Know that there is nothing too small or too large for heavenly help.

We are unconditionally loved at all times. Yet, there is a special joy in the heavens when we love ourselves as the Divine loves us through taking courageous action!

And Please share WHAT IT TOOK for YOU to change!  I will continue to write about this topic in future blogs.


Blessings of all love,
Sharon Massoth, The Believe Coach

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